Go to girl

What are you good at?

I’m not the best employee but I’m usually respected. I am not sure if I seem approachable or appear smart but I’m the person people go to for questions.

At work I get a lot of questions; mostly related to my job, but some not. Once someone asked me the policy on gift giving for a baptism. I was working on the policy manual for the company and I thought she was asking what gift the company gave for a baptism. I guess I looked holy or they thought I was a reasonable gift giver.

I’ve embraced this role at work and I try to help others when I can. I will point them in the direction they need and tell them to come back to me if they are not getting an answer. It is a good way to appear indispensable at work and I encourage those I manage to do the same. Be helpful but stay in your zone.

I am also the person who gets asks directions or assistance at stores. To the point where they get mad if I say I don’t know or I don’t work there. I don’t know which aisle the anchovy paste is, perhaps someone wearing a shirt with the store logo could help.

One of the stranger times I was a go-to person was during an emergency. People were asking me what I was going to do when the trains shut down. Someone asked about being able to drive on a blocked road. It was confusing and somewhat upsetting, like I wasn’t able to process my own confusion without having to handle some else’s. It wasn’t until later, when I watched the news, that I realized some security personnel were wearing bright yellow jackets, exactly what I had been wearing that day. I looked helpful and dressed the part.

Mr. Rogers said to look for the helpers. I’m proud that I am one and I know he would be as well.

How can I help you?

It takes a village

Share a story about someone who had a positive impact on your life.

I had a wonderful family and loving parents and I don’t take them for granted. But friends parents were the surprise impact for me. Not just one parent but several parents.

Yes, there were the jerky parents that made me grateful for mine. For the most part, though, my friends had nice parents who stepped up to help out. My dad died when I was young, having a single mom who worked made it difficult for rides. Other parents would take me home without question or guilt. They cheered me on and asked me about my school experiences just like own children. As hard as it was losing a parent, I felt so much love from those who didn’t have to.

As an adult I get it. You want to help other kids, especially your children’s friends. I was also a polite child and they probably figured I was a good friend to have around. Making children feel at ease and that they are not a burden is so important. Some adults have a knack for this and we are lucky to have them.

It does take a village to raise a child. Sometimes we just have to be good villagers, that’s all.

I still get to see some of these parents and it warms my heart to now have a friendship with them. Those who have passed on are still in my heart.

I know the prompt was for one person but I make the rules!

Definitely not Accounting

What’s your dream job?

As much as I love my job I think that my next career would be something with kids or helping people.

I don’t have a dream job per se but there are things that I would love to do. It would not be sitting at a desk all day. I would like to perhaps have a job where I could use the assistance of neurodivergent and/or intellectually challenged individuals. I have thought about working at a school to help kids. I’ve considered a career in personal training for those who have not been exercising.

Working in the corporate world does not have a lot of satisfaction or feeling of working for the betterment of the world. I would love to have a switch at some point to do something completely different. Of course my friends who do such jobs dream of a less chaotic career such as accounting.

My real dream job though, being filthy rich!

Cross country

Think back on your most memorable road trip.

I drove cross country in my 20s to start a new life, or at least a change.

The journey started with my aunt and her friend. We had 2 cars and 3 drivers. My car was packed with my stuff, ready for my new adventure. It was nerve wracking, exciting, and actually boring at times.

I had driven as far as the Midwest in the past so going through some of the other states was a thrill. Kansas was beautiful, different from other parts of the Midwest I lived. New Mexico was barren but reminded me of the movies with the tumbleweeds and heat coming off the road.

My aunt and her friend stayed in Colorado so I had a few days of traveling by myself- my first time staying in a hotel by myself. I felt like a real adult. I had a near accident in the mountains of Colorado, it’s a story I still tell to this day.

Coming into my destination in California was once again exciting and scary. What was going to happen next?

I stayed there for 2 years. In some ways I wish it had been longer but the memories I have makes it feel like it was longer. It’s funny how a place can feel that way.

I kept a journal of my trip; recording my miles and gas and the stops,we had. I have a few pictures but this was before smart phones, in fact I borrowed my sister’s flip phone for emergency.

Looking back I am so proud of myself for having the guts to do it. I’m proud to have the memories. I’m also really proud to say that I drove cross country. Twice, since I drove home when I returned. I little less exciting but still an adventure. Oh, and by that time the ac had gone in my car so that was adventurous!

I would love to do it again some day, even just part of the country or visit places I have never been. And in a car with ac.

The Door Knob

Last year my family and I were in Spain. We rented an apartment (I’m sorry to the locals that we are doing this). It was a building probably done in the mid 20th century and it had a European appearance (duh). The door to the apartment had the knob in the center of the door. My brain immediately thought of “Family Affair”.

“Family Affair” was a show in the mid-to-late 60s about a bachelor who raises his brother’s children after the brother and his wife died in an accident. They live in a huge NYC apartment (with 2 big doors that have knobs in the middle) with the “Gentleman’s gentleman” Mr. French.

The show predates me but I remember it being on in syndication when I was a kid. Though I think it was in at odd times so I probably only saw it when I was home sick. I used to refer to it as “Buffy and Jody”, the young twins on the show. Like most kids, I was fascinated by shows and movies that featured kids. How did they get those jobs? Where did they go to school?

I would see the actors in other shows or movies. I heard their voices on cartoons and my Jungle Book record – Mr. French’s voice could not be hidden. As I grew older I heard the tragic stories of the child stars. As an adult I read a biography by one of the actors. The show remained in my memory but not in the same way as some others.

Recently I watched it again. I should say I watched most of it for the first time since I didn’t remember much of it. I figured that I would catch an episode or two but I was hooked. It hasn’t aged well, there are definitely some problematic parts of it but every show has that. At the core it is a sweet show and some funny moments.

Like everything else, it hits differently as an adult. The idea of the children losing their parents is gut wrenching as I lost a parent at a young age. I can identify with the adults and their need to drop everything to care for the children. Watching the child actors, knowing their fate is unnerving and uncomfortable.

It’s funny what sights trigger one’s memories. A simple door knob brought me back to my childhood.

Is their a favorite show from your childhood that often pops in you head?

Manga

What is your favorite place to go in your city?

The North End, Boston’s “Little Italy”. The food is fantastic and it has an old world charm about it. I try to go there at least once a year. I was there a couple months ago for a work event and walked through there. I’ve had a few jobs within walking distance, it reminds me of the days of having lunch in the big city.

I don’t go into the office much but when I do I’ll walk around the area, even walking a longer distance to get to the train station.

One year for my birthday I went there alone. I had a fight with my boyfriend and didn’t want that to ruin my day so I went into Boston, sat at the bar and had a nice dinner and glass of wine by myself. It was sad but I was proud that I didn’t give in to him.

The dessert places are amazing. A cappuccino and sweet treat after dinner ☕️ , take a walk around the block in between dinner and dessert.

If you’re ever in Boston I highly recommend the North End. Find a small restaurant (they are all small) on a side street. Bring your appetite.

Yum

He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother

Describe a family member.

My bother is about 6 years older. As kids he would waffle between looking after me and torturing me. He was a good big brother and I always thought he and his friends were cool.

When our dad died young, my brother took over as a surrogate father. He took care of us and looked out for our mom. He shuttled me around places.

He had kids young and I got to see him become a responsible father, yet he was still good to me and my sister. I had no money during college and I sheepishly asked to borrow money, knowing that he had little to give. He selflessly gave me more than enough to get me by.

As adults we have grown apart and then come together. We have had moments where I was his shoulder to lean on, and that gave me such comfort. We joke that he is our mom’s favorite. We know that she has no favorites but a mother-son bond is special.

We lost our sister a few years ago. It was devastating and we once again had to lean on each other. I look at him knowing that we will have to work together when our mom ages. We have watched our family go from 5 to 4 and now 3.

I am proud of my brother and how he raised his kids. He is a good man, not perfect, but a good man. He loves his family and is a brother/father figure to many. I’m lucky to have him.

Perfect 10

What are your top ten favorite movies?

10? Yikes, I’m not sure but here goes. Movies that I love, made me think, or are just comforts. I’m not putting in quotes, sue me.

  1. E.T. – all time sentimental favorite. It’s the one I say as my favorite
  2. A League of Their Own – I love the story
  3. On Golden Pond – I enjoyed it, even as a kid
  4. When Harry Met Sally – I’m not a rom-com fan but this is fantastic
  5. The Breakfast Club – Yes, it problematic today but as a Gen Xer it’s a classic
  6. Bridget Jones’ Diary – I loved the book and was skeptical about the movie but it was fantastic
  7. Good Will Hunting – best Boston movie
  8. White Christmas – I saw it for the first time only a few years ago but I watch it each year while baking.
  9. Old Yeller – I cried at the end, probably one of the first movies I cried at. I also loved the little boy in it, I always wanted a little boy like him
  10. The Sound of Music – the music, of course

That was easier than I thought, definitely thought of some others but this will do. Now I want popcorn and milk duds.

Family vacations

Have you ever been camping?

In the 80s my family has a leisure van, I probably could have omitted “In the 80s”. It had captains seats in the front and a bench seat in the back so we sat sideways but had a great view of everything. We traveled a lot in it, going to South Dakota and Wyoming. Although most of the time we were in cabins or the van we did tent camping a few times. I loved it. We all had the same sleeping bags, brown with flannel inside. We had a huge tent that took my dad hours to put up. It was something that I wish we had done more but my dad died young and my mom didn’t love it as much.

Many years later I did a trip with a rock climbing group. We were all camping outside. I bought a single-person tent and borrowed a sleeping bag, I was excited. It poured that night, it was awful. My car was parked nearby and I contemplated going into it for shelter but decided to rough it out as I didn’t want to seem like a wimp. I found out the next day that a lot of people ended up in their cars, I guess it wasn’t considered wimpy. It was all part of the experience for me.

I used to do a relay race that went over 2 days. When not running our van would go to a predetermined location to get a couple hours of sleep. I opted to sleep outside, enjoying the beauty of the night sky in the remote location. It was always something I looked forward to.

I would still do it today. Tents and sleeping bags are so much better now.