Late September

September 15

8th grade: I stayed over (cousin’s)

We did stay at each other’s houses a lot. I’m blessed to still have this close relationship with my cousins.

September 16

8th: Met (cousin’s boyfriend) at park. He is so nice I ❤️ him even though he is (cousin’s). She is in trouble.

So this reads cringey but it’s not bad. Yes, I probably had a crush on him, it was more that I was an almost teenager and starting to get into boys and he was older. I’m not sure why my cousin was in trouble, maybe being out late.

September 18

(Cousin) is in so much trouble. This girl (in school) is so nice.

What did my cousin do? I’ll have to ask her. I do remember making some friends in the beginning of 8th grade and they had invited me to the mall but I couldn’t go. It was nice to be asked.

September 19

I saw this house we are renting. It is nice.

It was nice, it was a two-family that sold for over $1M a few years ago. I don’t know what our rent was at the time, though I think my mom had an opportunity to buy it. Oh well

September 21

We had a party for (aunt and uncle) it was fun

Do you remember the 21st night of September?

It was their 25th anniversary. They were married almost 47 years, my uncle passed away. Although I have some boring entries, it is nice to look back and remember what I was doing. Better than 5th/6th grade when I abandoned my diary.

September 22

(Cousin’s) family party that was fun. (Other cousin) went to B.C. dance.

Such a party animal! My cousin had a large family on the other side. I still see them today, we are an expanded family. I’m glad that my other cousin was no longer in trouble and could go to the dance. Also, am I living vicariously through her?

September 23

I went to (cousin’s friend’s) fashion show.

Is that grammatically correct with all those possessives? Not much to say about this except that I had a whirlwind weekend with my cousin

September 25

9th grade family drama

I’ll keep it personal. Nothing bad, just sad at the time.

September 26

9th: We might have a hurricane tomorrow

I started to write “tornado” then crossed it out. I’m not sure why I think that’s funny. We did have a big hurricane; stayed home, lost power but fortunately not too much damage.

September 29

8th: Today is (cousin’s) surprise party

My first boy/girl party- I believe.

September 30

8th: Party was fun. I danced with (boys), they are nice.

I think only two boys were there. One I have seen as an adult and I have joked with him that we danced together.

Boys, boys boys.

Dearest Diary

I started this a few years ago and dropped it. I’m back! It’s cathartic to read and comment on these entries.

September 8

8th grade: (mom’s friend) came over

She was (still is) a delight. She was a fun diversion for my mom.

9th grade: we went to the cape. We start school tomorrow. I’m scared

I love Cape Cod in the fall, the last of the summer days. Still sneak in a beach day, less traffic and cooler nights. Then there is the angst of starting school. A new school, after a rough year before.

September 9

8th grade: I’m so mad at mom she won’t let me go babysitting with (cousin).

I’m not sure why I couldn’t, my mom was not strict. Maybe it was a school night or I had something else. No reason needed to be mad at a parent at that age.

9th grade: Today was the first day of school. I love it.

Yeah! I’m so happy for me. I did like high school for the most part. Definitely angst and I lacked self confidence but that is expected. I had a reunion a few months ago and it was so nice reconnecting with classmates. There is a Sally Field moment of me thinking “They like me, right now they like me”.

September 10

8th: wierd (sic) day. I’m scared, Nana and Grandpa are sick.

My dad’s parents were not the healthiest, both died in their 60s. They were cute and loving but not necessarily the model of good living as they both smoked for years and ate processed meat on the reg.

I still have to think about how to spell weird.

Nothing was written on September 11th. It’s weird/wierd to see that date and think that at one point it was just a day.

September 14

8th: I met (cousin’s) boyfriend. He is nice. Stayed over (other cousin’s house).

Ah, teenager love. I never really went through but heard the stories from friends and family.

I did spend a lot of time with my cousins back then. Still do, I’m lucky.

Goodbye my friend

Last night I found out that a former roommate and friend passed away. It happened a few years ago. We hadn’t seen each other in a while and I lost touch when she moved.

We had kept in touch after I moved away and I would visit her occasionally. I went to her wedding and met her kids, probably the last time I saw her. We would send Christmas cards every so often. Then one year mine was returned. Address unknown. I was bummed that I didn’t know where she moved.

I tried looking her up on social media but I couldn’t find her. She had a fairly common name which made it difficult. I figured some day our paths would cross. Every so often I would think of her and the fun we had in our younger days. We were in a new city together; figuring out life.

I was shocked to discover that she had died. I wish that I had known that she was sick; to support her. I selfishly wish I had more time with her. I wish I could have told her young kids what an amazing woman their mother was. I guess I can still do that.

It’s a weird feeling to know that you will never get to meet up with an old friend. No reminiscing. There is guilt knowing that I am still here instead of her.

Goodbye, my friend. You will never leave my memory.

Exercising mind and body

What are you doing this evening?

I went for a quick run tonight before it got too dark. It wasn’t a great sunset tonight but I got a little bit of color in the sky. After the run I did some weights and stretched. Then a shower

Now that I’m clean I’m doing some journaling. Getting ideas on paper, well a tablet.

Nice relaxing evening before a busy day tomorrow and this weekend.

I’m usually a morning runner but I have started to run more in the evening as it helps me sleep better. Not sure it’ll work once it gets dark out early but that’s another day.

Against all odds

What brings a tear of joy to your eye?

I have a few relatives who are neurodivergent/have autism. Watching them succeed and grow is such a joy. Especially when they have found their friends and created their social network.

In college I volunteered for the Special Olympics. I can’t explain how powerful and rewarding it is to see these athletes participate and celebrate their achievements. It’s probably one of the reasons why I continue to volunteer for different organizations today.

Now when I watch my nephew participate in sports and plays in school I tear up. It’s amazing to see what he has accomplished and the joy that he and his classmates bring to their families. I know how far these kids have come and parents and families have such pride and relief watching their children.

I also think of the teachers and staff at the schools who work so hard; unfortunately for little money, working with the students. It brings me joy to think how selflessly they work. It takes a remarkable person to do this and it is so appreciated.

Many years later I think of the Special Olympic athletes who proudly displayed their medals and ribbons. Whose enthusiasm was so infectious, bring smiles to hungover college students. The athletes who struggled to finish a race, encouraged by a gym full of spectators. It taught me so much about my own running.

If you are lucky enough to witness these events you know pure joy.

Book Report: Like Everybody Else

By Barbara Girion. I couldn’t find a lot of information on her, she didn’t achieve Judy Blume status, but I think she is still alive. I did see that she wrote “Misty and Me”, I remember reading that and will tr6 to find it somewhere.

I was looking for something last week and found this book in a collection of books I had saved from childhood. I’m not sure why I saved this, I do remember liking it but it wasn’t a favorite. I won’t say how old the book is but it cost $1.95! The inside has my name in cursive and the back page I filled out my name and address for some read for MS thing- never sent it in I guess.

Why I liked this as a kid: it was a good story about the student who flies under the radar, sort of. It’s about how as kids we want our parents to be like all of parents, at least we think so. Also, it introduced me to Bat Mitzvahs, I’m sure I had heard of them at the time but it was not well known to me as a Catholic kid.

What I remember: I remember the mom being a workaholic and comments about her being a starving artist. Not sure why that has stuck with me but it did. I remember starting her a new school, I was about a year younger when I read it and I looked forward to starting middle school. Also, they talk about iced tea with mint in it and I love that.

Summary. Samatha is an only child about to start middle school. Her mom has written several children’s books but has just finished an adult novel. Sam’s best friend comes from a larger, more traditional family, with a mom who today would be described as a “trad wife”. When Sam’s mom’s boom comes out it creates a scandal as it is risqué and an embarrassment to Sam. Throughout this, Sam is trying to navigate life as a new middle schooler and find her voice.

What changed while reading it as an adult. First, I didn’t realize that the mom’s book dealt with affairs. That is scandalous, or was at the time. In the book her best friend’s older brother is a surrogate brother to Sam. I remember it being sweet but in reading it now it’s a bit creepy as he talks about her filling out. Not what the author intended, I’m sure but it hits differently now.

It makes sense that I identify and understand the parents more now than when I read as a child. Even though I don’t have kids I know that there is a struggle between being the stay-at-home parent and the working parent. Each both jealous yet critical of the other. Similar to those who have kids and those who don’t.

Sam talks about how she thinks of parents all being the same. I have said that before, we think of parents as homogenous units, not individuals. This is a theme in the book and I related to this more now.

If my memory is correct I bought this book during the summer. My friend and I went to the mall with her mom. I showed her mom the book and she said “Oh, great. You can read that over the summer”. I went home and read it all night, staying up later than I should have. I’m not sure if I finished it in one night. The crazy things I remember.

Happy reading.

Popcorn

What’s your go-to comfort food?

Boring old popcorn. The kernels get stuck in my teeth but I love it.

I love air popped or stove popped. Just a little bit of coconut oil and truffle salt. Occasionally I will make caramel popcorn. Movie popcorn is okay but no extra butter.

It’s filling and I can have a lot of it for fewer calories than chips. I like making it on the stove, I feel like a pioneer woman. The oil and salt make a nice savory flavor, it just tastes good.

There is also the fact that as an adult I can have just popcorn for dinner. It’s not the most well-rounded meal but that’s the comfort part.

I don’t like bagged microwave popcorn, except when I travel. Somehow it tastes better away from home. It has to be the natural kind without butter. Then I like Skinny Pop and the kind in the pink bag, I forget the name.

Having popcorn as my comfort food seems so bland, but sometimes comfort is bland.

Someone once said “It’s impossible to eat popcorn without looking like you are in a popcorn eating contest”. I laugh at that every time I have popcorn.

Fifth Grade Book Report – Blubber

I’m thinking of having a book club where we read books from our childhood. Young adult novels. Discuss the book as usual but also discuss what we remember and why the book was chosen. I’m starting to go back to some I remember. Last week I read “Blubber” by Judy Blume.

I’m not sure if I have the original, I found this at the dollar store. This version has a bland cover, I guess that’s what I get for $1.25. I remember the cove4 being green with a girl on it.

The book is about bullying. I don’t remember that being so bad when I was a kid. It was awful, straight up bullying. The girls are mean. I absolutely remember bullying when I was a kid. I was a target at times, when I wasn’t I sat quietly and maybe laughed a little. I didn’t stick up for the bullied kids, I was too scared. Not proud of that but that was me.

This was a Judy Blume book that bridged the gap between “Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing”, talking about childhood antics and “Are You There God, It’s Me Margaret?” – which talks about puberty.

What I did remember is that the protagonist, Jill, was a skinny kid who had weird eating habits. I remember her wishing she had worn her heavy sweater for weigh in day at school. I was not a fat kid but I was a little chubby. I guess I had body issues back then. Also, do they weigh kids in school now? What about hearing and vision tests? Do kids get those red pills to show where your teeth had plaque? Was it weird that they did that or is it good?

I also remembered that Jill’s dad was a tax attorney. My nerdy 9 year old brain was intrigued by this occupation and I asked my dad, an accountant, what this profession was. While other kids were aspiring to be astronauts or professional athletes I wanted to work with numbers. I did it! In your face, classmates who haven’t been to the moon or don’t have a national title. Is that bullying?

As I was reading the book last week I remembered most of the plot. (Obligatory spoiler alert) Jill suddenly becomes the girl that the lass bullies. I. The end she tries to put the popular girl in her place and befriends the new girl. This is around the age that kids shift friendships as the develop mentally and physically.

I was interested in the character of Jill’s mom. She seemed to have depression, probably undiagnosed at that time. She smoked, which was unhealthy but still common back then. I would love to read more about her and I wonder what inspired Judy Blume to write her that way. Actually she may have talked about it, I forget.

At the end of the version I read, Judy Blume talks about the story and the inspiration behind it. It was based on a story from one of her kids. Queen Judy (she is book royalty) discussed the bullying- again , something that didn’t register for me as much as a kid.

I was surprised at how differently this book hit me. I didn’t like it as much as I did as a kid. I really hated the bullying and had a hard time being sympathetic to Jill. The book was good but my feelings about the characters changed and it made me uncomfortable.

Any good children’s book recommendations?

Rules are NOT made to be broken

What bothers you and why?

I’m a rule follower. A classic hands in the steering wheel at 10 and 2 (I know that’s not a thing anymore) rule follower. I’m an introvert and an accountant, it’s in my nature. So I don’t like when people don’t follow the rules.

13 items in the 12 or fewer lane, grr. Driving in the breakdown lane, I pray the police are there. Trying to get on the plane in group A when you are group B, get out of here. I could go on.

Some of these things don’t personally affect me so why do I care? I feel that if we all followed the rules life would be better. We would have more peace. It’s naive and stupid but it’s how I think.

The thing is I will break rules. I drive over the speed limit, not by much but I can push it. My reasoning for breaking rules may not make sense but they do to me. My guess is that others have reasons for breaking rules, it just doesn’t make sense to me.

What does bother me and is inexcusable is people who get caught or are called out for being jerks then fight about it. If you are wrong or called out then apologize.

Also, don’t park your car illegally in a handicap spot or a fire lane, even if someone is in the car. That’s just inexcusable.

I’m fun at parties, I swear!

Go to girl

What are you good at?

I’m not the best employee but I’m usually respected. I am not sure if I seem approachable or appear smart but I’m the person people go to for questions.

At work I get a lot of questions; mostly related to my job, but some not. Once someone asked me the policy on gift giving for a baptism. I was working on the policy manual for the company and I thought she was asking what gift the company gave for a baptism. I guess I looked holy or they thought I was a reasonable gift giver.

I’ve embraced this role at work and I try to help others when I can. I will point them in the direction they need and tell them to come back to me if they are not getting an answer. It is a good way to appear indispensable at work and I encourage those I manage to do the same. Be helpful but stay in your zone.

I am also the person who gets asks directions or assistance at stores. To the point where they get mad if I say I don’t know or I don’t work there. I don’t know which aisle the anchovy paste is, perhaps someone wearing a shirt with the store logo could help.

One of the stranger times I was a go-to person was during an emergency. People were asking me what I was going to do when the trains shut down. Someone asked about being able to drive on a blocked road. It was confusing and somewhat upsetting, like I wasn’t able to process my own confusion without having to handle some else’s. It wasn’t until later, when I watched the news, that I realized some security personnel were wearing bright yellow jackets, exactly what I had been wearing that day. I looked helpful and dressed the part.

Mr. Rogers said to look for the helpers. I’m proud that I am one and I know he would be as well.

How can I help you?