What’s the biggest risk you’d like to take — but haven’t been able to?
I’d love to change my career or work for myself but I’m too scared. That and the whole money and insurance thing.
I would like to do a job that is more fulfilling than what I do now. I’m not sure what, maybe something with children. I am just not in a position financially to do that.
Introverted runner is a hugger. I feel like hugging does not align with being an introvert but maybe they are not related.
I’m not big on touching people but I love me a good hug. Not the side shoulder crap. I’m talking big smoosh, squeeze hug. Maybe because my circle of people are close that I want them closer. Though I’ve hugged people who I had just met and hugged because they made me happy. I chalk that up to being an empathy thing.
On the other side, I’m stingy about doling out the “I love you”s. My family didn’t do that growing up. We showed our love in other ways and my parents definitely loved me, it was a weird Irish thing. We say it more now but I don’t say it to casual friends. It bothers me to hear people say it freely, it shouldn’t but it does. I hear celebrities throw it out and I hear it as fake. Who am I to judge?
Finally, who doesn’t love a big hug from a little child? The love that oozes from that is so pure.
What could you try for the first time?
My instapot. I got one on the recommendation of a few people and I am nervous to use it. Okay, not nervous but maybe unsure. I love my crockpot and I feel disloyal using something else. Everyone says they are great and can replace a few appliances. Still skeptical.
I was the same way with a rice cooker and it is now a constant in the kitchen. Maybe, just maybe I’ll break out the instapot. Have any good recipes or tips?
What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?
When I started high school the vice principal said that the happiest people in the school were the ones who were the most involved. It was true in high school and it’s true in life. I repeat this advice often.
Adults, sometimes the teens listen.
Write about your most epic baking or cooking fail.
As a kid we used to make popcorn Christmas trees with popcorn, marshmallows, spice drops and green food coloring. They were so much fun. One year I was temping in an office and had no money but it was my turn to bring in a holiday treat. I decided to make the trees with Rice Krispies as the popcorn needed to be air popped and I didn’t have an air popper.
I don’t know if I used too much food coloring or it didn’t absorb enough. I tried one and it tasted good, wrapped them up and started getting ready for bed. I went into the bathroom and my whole mouth was green. I was horrified. I was hoping to get hired by this company and wanted to make a good impression- green stained teeth was not the way to go. The next morning I got up early and ran to the store to get bakery items.
Eventually I did get hired but then the company went bankrupt so maybe I should have given them all green treats.
Not the worst story but I laugh thinking if I hadn’t tried them what a disaster it would have been. I did save a couple of them for myself, it’s not easy being green.
Share a lesson you wish you had learned earlier in life.
Everyone is awkward and self conscious, or at least most people are. We may look like we have it all together but many of us are unsure of ourselves. I always thought it was me but in talking with high school friends they said that they also felt awkward and uncool. We all have insecurities and that is fine to a point. Most people don’t see our flaws the same way.
Although I do wish I had more confidence when I was younger I think that I fared better figuring this out later in life.
I actually don’t like the term pet parent or fur baby. I own a pet. I had dogs when I was a little kid, the dogs were loved and cared for but never thought of as children. I now share a dog with another family member, my first time having a pet as an adult. Btw, I recommend dog sharing if you can, it makes it easier for backup care.
I never had children of my own. I have several family members who I have been close to as they grew up. It’s not the same, I know. Having a pet gave me responsibility and commitment, different from other responsibilities in my life. I am responsible for feeding and caring for this 4-legged creature. I need to make sure that I am not gone from the house for too long. I worry when she doesn’t eat, sleep or poop. I buy things for her on vacation and take a million pictures of her. I have parental responsibilities. It’s not the same, I know.
Raising humans is getting them ready for the outside world. It’s raising outstanding members of society. Making decisions on their behalf and then figuring out how much decision making to give them. We try to get our pets to behave (still working on that with mine), but we never train them to be outstanding members of society. We teach children and train pet.
While I may never know the feeling of raising children I know the feeling of unconditional love. I know how much I love the children in my life as well as my dog. My guess is that having children is that feeling but exponentially more.
Who’s a good boy?
I was 11 going into 7th grade. Young, yes but I started kindergarten at 4 so that would place me in 7th grade at 11. Seventh grade was the start of middle school, a large middle school where I would get lost in the crowd.
My “What I Did During Summer Vacation” story was probably not like any of my fellow students. Mid summer I attended the funeral for my father. My dad had a fatal heart attack at the age of 41. I was visiting cousins in Massachusetts at the time so my last memory of him was two weeks prior at the airport. Having just watched my stepfather die I think that it was a blessing that I did not see my father pass.
Some six weeks after my father’s death I started school. A few of the kids from my elementary school knew what had happened but for the most part I was alone in my grief. I don’t remember having a “poor me” attitude I just plugged along, my mother’s strength was my guidance.
During a morning class the teacher had us fill out cards with our information and parents contact information. The teacher said “If your parent is deceased then write ‘deceased'”. I felt a friend look at me, may have been my imagination though. I wasn’t certain how to spell “deceased” and didn’t want to raise my hand to ask so I wrote “dead”. That was a knife through me and I had to fight back tears for the rest of the class. I also panicked thinking about the teacher asking me details, of course it never happened but I was entitled to my fear.
Later that day another teacher had us fill out the same information. I took a deep breath as I prepared to fill out the form. The teacher went through the same speech but added “If you have no father write ‘No father”. I wrote “No father”, somehow that hurt less.
A few weeks later my mom asked my siblings and I if our teachers knew that we recently lost a parent. I told her about filling out the cards. She was upset that I wrote no father. “You have a father, he just died”, she said. I couldn’t explain that it hurt to write dead, and also that I couldn’t spell “deceased”.
I laugh about it now but I wish that I could have told my teachers the truth. I had one teacher ask me why I didn’t finish a project. Well, I didn’t want to burden my suddenly-widowed mom to help me. Of course she would have helped but I felt like a burden at the time.
I think that now there is more guidance, therapy was not the norm back then. There is so much more that I needed at the time and I didn’t know it.
My father died (suddenly) 40 years ago today. There is a lot to unpack about this but I’ll do some of that later. I found something I wrote soon after he died; it’s not dated but my guess is that it was within a year of his death. I am missing the last page but that is okay. I found it a few years ago and couldn’t believe that I had it, I had forgotten some of the details.
One thing I wrote about was the plane ride home on the day he died. I was visiting my cousins in another state. My aunts, grandfather and I all flew to my home in Illinois. I was in shock, numb and not sure what would happen as we were expecting to move to another state in the coming months. As an adult I cry for the trauma that little me went through. It’s something that I have had a hard time realizing is a trauma for life; life goes on and I can be happy but I carry my little trauma with me.
Back to the plane ride. I was listening to music through whatever headphone system they had in 1983. A few songs came on that made me think of my dad, any songs would have made me think of my dad. The song “Heart Attack” by Olivia Newton John was not cool as that was his cause of death. I kept changing the channel to find a better song to no avail (did I use that word correctly?). Then the song “Always Something There to Remind Me” by Naked Eyes. That put me over the edge, I burst out in tears and put my head in my aunt’s lap and cried. As I cried I felt a tear drop from my aunt fall on my face. I didn’t understand the pain my aunts felt losing a brother-in-law and seeing their niece in pain.
Today I hear that song and smile. I laugh at how terrible it was changing channels and getting worse song. I smile knowing that I still have memories of my dad. I smile knowing how wonderful our family and friends were during this difficult time. I smile knowing that I got through that tragedy at such a young age, I am stronger than I know.
Is there a song that reminds you of a tough time? How do you feel about that song now?
When I have down time I will write little memories in my notes app. I found a few and am adding to my blog. Many of these were done while at the hairdresser waiting for the color to do its thing. 1st in the series”Notes from the hair chair”
When I was 6 I moved to IL. I had only lived in MA and didn’t really understand what living in a different state meant. People told me that I would have to lose my accent. “My accident?” was my response. I talked the way everyone talked. I was about to understand culture shock.
My cousins and aunts/uncles came to the airport to send us off. I was dressed in a little pea coat for my first plane ride. I don’t remember much about the plane ride and getting to Rockford (about 90 minutes outside of Chicago). We stayed in a hotel for about a week while we waited to pass papers on our house. My parents wanted us to start school and my dad had to work (the reason for the move).
On our first day of school; my brother, sister and I were all at the local elementary school, we all walked in the bitter Midwest cold trying to find the entrance. Once inside my mom signed us up and we walked with the principal to our respective classrooms. My mom mentioned that we would have to buy lunch as we are at a hotel. We were told that there was no lunch to buy but today they could give us the “Satellite lunch” that was reserved for lower income students.
I was brought to Mrs. Kearney’s First grade class where all eyes were on me as I was introduced. I sat next to Jennifer Burkhardt who was my guide. At lunch I ate a gross ham sandwich with a dry block of cheese. I had winter boots on so at gym the teacher told me that I needed “tennis shoes”. I didn’t think that they made tennis shoes for my little feet and was confused as to why they specified the sport shoes I needed since I clearly wasn’t playing tennis in January. My family quickly learned that tennis shoes were the same as “sneakers” in Boston speak.
I was a shy kids but I started to make friends and I figured out what my family was referring to when they talked about my accent. I remember telling a story and said “tiah” when referring to a tire and my neighbors laughed. In the section grade we were doing vocabulary and the teacher asked who knew the word “plaza”? I raised my hand and said “plah za”; I straight up knew this because the mall near me in MA was the plaza. The teacher, who was evil btw, corrected me and said “plaa za”.
My family had wonderful memories in Illinois and made some lifelong friends. The Midwest is friendlier; many of our neighbors were transplants like us. We connected over holidays as being with family was too hard to do. They became our family. They helped when we were in an accident. Oh how they helped when my dad suddenly died.
I’m glad that I got to experience living in Illinois and I always smile when I hear the Midwestern accent. I feel so worldly knowing that I have been to the Quad cities. Yet there is a part of me that wishes I grew up in the same area; went to school with the same kids and lived in the same house.
Introverted runner and other stuff