My So Called Life

Recapping last week, someone was sick and someone died. All caught up.

January 19

8th Grade: Mom and I went to [see grandparents]. Grandma looks good and Granpa looked sad.

Again with misspelling “Grandpa”. This was my nana’s birthday, my grandfather’s was a week or so later so it made sense to see them. My grandmother was a joy, sweet and little and fun. My grandfather was known to be cranky but he was very good to the grandchildren (granchildren). He was sad because he broke his damn wrist.

They looked like Mr and Mrs Claus with their white hair. They also looked way older than their ages though that was the norm back then. I remember playing a game with my nana when I was about 5. The game said ages 5-105; I asked her if she was older than 105, she was maybe 60.

9th grade: Went to [see grandparents]. Fr. [family priest] died. I can’t believe this year hasn’t been good so far.

Someone died ✅ He was a good priest. Sometimes now I hear people dying and I think wow, that is a lot but I guess it is constant.

That’s all she wrote.

Catching up on life

Getting back to my earlier post where I review my old diaries. TLDR? My mom was having a rough week when I was in 5th grade and I was having a rough week in 8th grade.

January 12

9th grade: My old guidance counselor died, I feel so bad.

He was a really nice guy and clearly left an impression as he wasn’t actually my guidance counselor but he helped me with something.

January 13

9th grade: Grampa broke his wrist. I feel so bad.

So I’ll fully admit that I just looked up if it should be “feel so bad” or “feel so badly” and it’s the former though “so” may not be needed. Also, when did I change from “Grampa” to “Grandpa”? Yes, that was a rough on for him.

January 17

9: [petty family drama] and a [relative] was in the hospital

All normal stuff for a young freshman(woman). I guess this week is lots of medical shit going on or that’s what I liked to write about.

It appears as though my 5th grade schedule did not allow me to write in my diary for a month or so. I do remember having a bad cold which ended up being allergies. Stay tuned for more exciting adventures later in the winter.

A Year in the Life

I have had some old diaries laying around and I’ve decided to journal them this year. These are from 5th to 9th grades, I’m hiding personal details and names to protect the innocent (not that anything crazy happened nor do I think anyone will read this). I seem to fall off after a week or so and then pick up again at random times. I’m catching up the first few days.

January 1

5th Grade: it was very boring last night I stayed up till 1:45. C+

I graded my days, I think the idea was stolen from a Judy Blume book. So 1st off, 1:45? WTF, parents! I do remember the prior years my cousins were there so it was more fun. That year my dad and I played a game and my mom was sick.

8th Grade: [I commented on my cousins not teasing me]

I was the youngest and I was sensitive

January 2

5: It is really snowing right now, we have about 6”. Mom is really sick. B+

My mom had a cold, just a bad cold. Even so, I am hoping the snow boosted the grade

8: We went back to school

January 3

5: Today me and [friend] went ice skating. Mom is more siker. We might not go to school cause were gonna have a storm tomorro. A

Holy f&@! get this kid to school pronto for a grammar and spelling lesson. Also, I think that we were in the background of the news as we were skating- my tv debut.

8: I stayed home from school because I woke up at 9. [sister] came home.

Well played, me. To be fair, I was going through some stuff. It was a tough time and I wish that I had journaled more.

January 4

5: We had no school today. B+

8: We would have been living in IL for 7 years.

Right about now the novelty of writing is wearing off

January 5

5: Today we went back to school it was boring. [friend] likes new school. B

8th grade me jumped ship.

January 6

5: Mom got in an accident but she isn’t hurt. She is really losing her voice. B

Shit year for mom.

So the rigors of school/life got the best of me for a while as I have lots of blank pages. More to come…

What is your favorite holiday recipe

Pomegranate Salsa. Take a pound or 2 or zucchini, roast it with olive oil, salt and pepper for about 30 minutes at 350. Add an avocado, red onion, feta cheese, oregano, lime juice and pomegranate seeds. Serve with pita chips.

It’s a Martha Stewart recipe. I first made the recipe about 15 years ago for a friend’s party and it was a big hit. I bragged that it was a Martha recipe but then admitted that it was easy to make.

That year I also made it for my family. I also attempted to make a trifle that had about 4,000 steps (also MS). It was good but not worth getting every pan in the house dirty. I don’t think I have made that since.

I like the pomegranate salsa because it’s easy yet take so good, lots of flavors. It’s always a hit at parties and looks pretty at Christmas. It’s also healthy so I feel better making and eating it.

I once made it for a friend’s party. My boyfriend at the time snubbed his nose at it and made comments. Meanwhile my friends dug right into the salsa. I should have taken that as a sign that he was no good.

One tip. If you’re ever attempted to breakup a pomegranate to get to the seeds you know that you’re kitchen will look like a crime scene with red everywhere. I recently learned a trick to peel it apart in a bowl of water. So much easier. Also, I buy the pomegranate and freeze the seeds to make another batch later.

What’s your go-to recipe for the holidays?

A loaf of bread, a container of milk and a stick of butter

List your top 5 grocery store items.

Almonds- heart healthy. I eat a ton of them and put them in my oatmeal or mix in a stir fry.

Seltzer water- I try to limit how much I drink of it but it’s a staple

Broccoli- a favorite vegetable. Frozen, fresh, whatever

Popcorn- skinny pop or kernels to air pop. It’s killer on the teeth but a good snack

Baby carrots- easy snack and can throw in whatever is cooking

Definitely have some unhealthy items but these are the staples I have. I keep a list on my phone and these 5 are permanently on there.

Places

Have you ever performed on stage or given a speech?

Yes! I am involved in community theater, both on and off stage. I did it as a kid and picked it up a few years ago. As someone who is introverted and shy it gives me an outlet to be crazy and uninhibited.

Giving a speech is more difficult but I have done that as well. It certainly helps to have the theater background as I have some tools for memorizing and being comfortable with my speech.

I prefer either of those to just having to talk in front of others.

Christmas Boxes

Each year I take out the boxes of Christmas decorations from the attic. Each year I always say that I will organize before I put them back. Each year I don’t. Whatever

A year passes (well 11 months) from when I put the boxes away and when I take them out. A year of activity occurs while the boxes sit in the attic. I never know what my year will be like when I put them away. Putting up decorations in 2020 (I did 2 trees that year just because) I never would have guessed what was in store that year. It’s almost as if we put faith in the fact that we will be there to decorate again, that we will want to. If you are like me you discover something that accidentally got packed away for the year. Or maybe a Christmas card you forgot to send.

When I put the boxes away in early January 2023 I never envisioned the year that I would have. The loss that I would experience. The sadness that would hover over this holiday season. I chose to do some decorating this year. I like the lights, especially since it gets dark out just after 4:00 pm. I wanted a few other decorations and I needed some supplies for a family party. Everything else will stay boxed up this year.

Maybe next year when I take out the decorations there will be a reason to celebrate, maybe a happy change. Or maybe I’ll be reminded of the sadness from the prior year. Maybe I’ll be comforted by knowing that I have healed, even if a little.

Maybe at some point in the year I’ll get the urge to organize the boxes. Probably not.

Morning Has Broken

Are you more of a night or morning person?

I’m not sure if this is a typical response. I used to be a night owl. As a kid I would stay up late and watch The Tonight Show (during the summer). I loved the peaceful atmosphere of the night. Once I started working and having to get out of the house to get to work I became a morning person.

I prefer to run or exercise in the morning. Each day I have to run or walk before I start work. When it’s light out really early summer I will get up and do a little gardening. It’s now my peaceful time.

I prefer to get to bed early and get a good nights sleep. I sound like an old fart but it makes me happy.